


It isn't the same

by Bedkin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, College, Fluff, Future Fic, Kids, M/M, Single Parents, Teenage Pregnancy, run aways, sad teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bedkin/pseuds/Bedkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years ago Akaashi Keiji ran away without telling anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Six Years

Bokuto held the coffee cup between his gloved hands, his whole body felt heavy and numb, he shivered involuntarily, his body reacting to the cold like it should, he just felt like a prisoner inside it. It had been a whole six years now, a whole six years of torture and utter despair, without Akaashi. He didn't even realise he was crying until he heard the soft plop of his tear falling into his coffee. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and looked up at the sky, the sun was hidden behind the grey clouds which were gathering over the park. He lifted himself up and attempted to stay strong, he just didn't know how to yet.

Initially volleyball had been too painful for him, the new setter’s tosses just weren't quite the same and each time he got excited he’d have to stop himself from shouting, “didja see that Akaashi?!”. Nevertheless he’d kept playing without his vice captain. Fukurodani didn't win as often as they used to, Bokuto was well aware that his mood swings were happening a lot more regularly and often didn't vanish for days on end. He’d still got a few scouts but most of the major scouts had removed their offers due to his ‘unpredictability’. 

He remembered that day Akaashi had vanished. Everyone else had left to go home after practise but Akaashi had stayed behind to toss to Bokuto some more, he probably hadn't noticed at the time, because he used to be an insensitive piece of shit, but Akaashi had been tired and his heavy lidded eyes had seemed lifeless. After they’d tidied away Akaashi had tailed Bokuto before tapping him on the back to get his attention and then kissing him right on the mouth. He probably whispered something but the old Bokuto didn't think it was important enough to remember or listen to. The next day Akaashi was gone.

His coffee was starting to get cold, he drank the rest in a hurry and threw the container in a nearby waste bin. 

“I recognise you.” Bokuto stopped and looked at the little boy in front of him, he had dark curly hair and green eyes under heavy lids. Bokuto crouched down to be at a similar level to the child. 

“Oh? who are you?” Bokuto patted the boy’s hair slightly, it was so soft, he looked at the boy a little more, how would he recognise him, he had a pretty unique appearance, what with his amber eyes, thick white eyebrows and owl-like hair. 

“I’m Akaashi Rin!” Bokuto’s blood ran cold, the little boy continued to smile at him but Bokuto was frozen, he couldn't handle this right now, another Akaashi, what relation was he to his Akaashi. Bokuto stood up and started to move away from Rin who was starting to look a little confused. 

“Rin!” Bokuto’s head snapped up in sync with Rin’s as they looked in the direction of the voice, Bokuto squinted and then he saw him, curly black hair, slightly turned up nose, dark, heavy lidded eyes slightly wide with worry. Bokuto collapsed onto the ground, pulling his knees into his chest and burying his face. This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening, this wasn't happening. 

“I’m sorry, are you all right?” He heard the footsteps on the slightly gravelly path of the park, coming closer towards him until he felt a slender hand pull one of his arms off of his leg, Bokuto looked up into the face of someone he never thought he’d see again, Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi’s face suddenly contorted in the realisation of his current situation, he pulled back his hand from Bokuto’s arm and whispered, “I’m so sorry.” 

He couldn't stop the tears now, Bokuto could feel his face, hot and sticky with tears as he looked up into his best friend’s face. “Akaashi…” the other’s face was red now and he held out a hand to Bokuto who accepted it and pulled himself up. “I’m sorry.”

Akaashi smiled and pulled the messy creature that was Bokuto into a hug, Bokuto felt Akaashi’s hair against the side of his neck, felt his chest against his and his spine underneath his hands. “I’m sorry.” Akaashi whispered against his shoulder, his voice starting to break a little. “I’m so sorry Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto pulled Akaashi in closer to him, he needed him, his warmth, his presence, just to assure him that this was really him, this was really Akaashi, his Akaashi, the setter from Fukurodani. “I missed you Akaashi.”

Akaashi hummed slightly before pushing away from Bokuto and wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve, and sniffing slightly. “There’s too much to talk about now Bokuto-san. But I promise I will tell you everything.”

Bokuto smiled, and kissed Akaashi on the cheek, the other boy started to glow bright red and Bokuto pulled away laughing slightly through the tears which were still falling down his cheeks, “I’ll hold you to that!”

Akaashi smiled under the blush creeping across his face and took Rin’s hand, the little boy had just been patiently sitting on the ground awaiting Akaashi’s return, and waved to Bokuto, “See you soon!” 

Bokuto waved after them. He was already missing Akaashi again after only a matter of minutes, god he was so clingy, this must be what happened after years of separation. He smiled all the way home.

***

It had all been his own shitty fault, it was stupid, it was just a stupid one night fling with a girl with pretty eyes. Of course once his parents found out that was the end, he was a disgrace to the family name, him and his bastard son. Akaashi had cried, he was pretty cavalier about most things, but he couldn't handle going home every day, changing schools and having to deal with his shitty life choices. She’d told him that she wouldn't keep him, that as soon as he was no longer dependent on her she would give him up. But, even for a shitty mistake, Akaashi didn't want rid of him. He wanted to have him, to look after him, to make sure no-one had to deal with what he had to. 

He didn't tell anyone from Fukurodani, not even Bokuto. It was halfway through the winter term when he ran away, leaving behind everything without any words, and selfishly kissing Bokuto. He was such a damn selfish shitty person. Akaashi had managed to bargain his way into living with some family friends far away from his home in Tokyo, his bargain included him working for their company day in day out with little or no pay in exchange for a roof over his and Rin’s head and care for Rin. 

But now he’d met Bokuto again. His silly high school crush, and, dare he admit it, still the main subject of many of his fantasies, which were few and far between when you were a single dad working round the clock to pay for basic amenities. Bokuto, the pouty wing spiker from Fukurodani, his best friend, his partner. It was his fault Bokuto wasn't playing volleyball at international level, it was all his damn fault!

“Daddy?” Rin tugged on Akaashi’s hand and Akaashi crouched down and looked at him.

“What’s up?” He smiled and ruffled the little boy’s hair affectionately, sometimes he was glad Rin resembled him most closely, except for the eyes, which were currently angled at the ground and glistening slightly in the mid-afternoon winter sun.

“Daddy, why are you so sad?” Rin shuffled slightly and looked up at Akaashi’s face. Akaashi felt himself flush slightly and pushed back a few tears which threatened to fall, he was meant to be protecting Rin from himself, from his self-destructiveness, he was a shitty dad.

“One day you’ll understand.” he patted Rin’s hair and forced a smile, the boy smiled up at him and threw his arms around Akaashi’s shoulders which were at optimum height for little kids to grab when he was crouching. 

“Don’t be sad, daddy.” Rin, who hadn't quite mastered the art of whispering, said directly into Akaashi’s ear, making him wince slightly, he could feel the tears coming and this time he couldn't stop them, crying right onto Rin’s shoulder as his son clung onto him. His hands tightening in Akaashi’s jacket as his chest moved with each sob. “Please don’t be sad.”

“I’ll try, Rin.” He choked out, holding onto the fragile frame of his son and he was so glad for him, even if he wasn't meant to be, even if he was yet another blot on Akaashi’s tarnished record, he was the best mistake Akaashi had ever made. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”


	2. Dinner Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Akaashi Rin is just as much of a dork as the rest of them, just a bit smaller.

“Bokuto-san.” Akaashi’s voice made Bokuto jump, he turned around to see the slightly smaller man sipping a coffee which he held between two gloved hands. Bokuto was meant to be out jogging, he had some tryouts coming up for the regional volleyball team, they’d been asking him for a while now so it only felt right to start training and get back into a normal rhythm of life, now that Akaashi was back. Although the latter was currently disrupting his training schedule.

“Hey, Akaashi, what’s up?” Bokuto stretched out his shoulders and eyed up Akaashi who was shuffling slightly from foot to foot, his eyes were focussed mainly on the ground, but he could see them occasionally drift up to his face as he stretched.

“Would you like to have dinner with me later, at my place?” Akaashi maintained his rather nonchalant expression as his eyes met Bokuto’s and stayed there, Bokuto smiled and placed both of his hands on Akaashi’s shoulders and grinned.

“Of course! Is this you asking me out Akaashi?” Bokuto laughed and Akaashi’s face turned bright red and he broke eye contact looking down at the floor and shuffling slightly. 

“Uh… If you want to think like that…” Akaashi couldn't stop the blush creeping around to his ears and his neck, Bokuto shuffled a little closer and placed a quick kiss to the other’s forehead. Akaashi looked at Bokuto for a second before he laced his arms around his neck and locked their lips together. Bokuto’s eyes flew wide before he relaxed and allowed his lips to move on their own, here with Akaashi, this was right, this was how he was meant to be. Akaashi pulled away first, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

“It’s a date then!” Bokuto smiled and kissed Akaashi quickly on the lips, a week ago they’d been strangers and now here they were, kissing in the park like an immature teenage couple. Akaashi slowly turned away, waving at Bokuto before he was out of sight. Bokuto smiled to himself, stretching out his shoulder muscles before continuing his jog around the park. 

***

Akaashi opened the door to his little flat, his heart was hammering in his chest as he fumbled his way in, dropping bags and coats onto the floor before calling out to Rin. Rin appeared momentarily, his curly hair bobbing as he ran on his little legs towards Akaashi before grabbing on to his leg, his tiny hands curling in the fabric. Akaashi crouched and picked up the little boy holding him next to his chest and nuzzling his nose with his own. Rin giggled and clung on around Akaashi’s neck before pressing a kiss to his dad’s cheek. Akaashi smiled and kissed him back. 

“Rin,” Akaashi started, he was going to tell him, he was going to explain the situation, even to a six year old. “Tonight Bokuto-san is coming over, so I’d like you to be on your best behaviour and go to bed when I tell you, okay?”

Rin nodded, his green eyes unwavering, not moving from Akaashi’s darker eyes. “Bokuto-san?”

“That’s right.” Akaashi smiled and placed Rin on the carpet, crouching down to ruffle his hair.

“Daddy, do you love him?” Akaashi froze, Rin was too young to understand, he didn't understand sexualities, or preferences, or whatever, all he cared about was love, pure and simple. Akaashi felt his tear ducts start to betray him as his eyes began to glaze over with tears. God he was pathetic these days. He nodded slightly, laughing to overcome the sobbing which he would expect to happen anytime soon.

“Yes, I think I do.” Akaashi laughed and hugged Rin, feeling his tiny hands curl around his shoulders, Rin was so perfect, he thought to himself, a shitty person like him didn't deserve such a beautiful son, and boyfriend, his mind chirped. He smiled through some of the tears which were starting to break free and roll down his face, “I think I do.”

***

Bokuto wasn’t really sure what to wear, Akaashi had sent him directions to his place, it wasn't in a fancy area so he didn't have to worry about tuxedos and suits and whatnot, but he wanted to do something nice for Akaashi, after all, his best friend - turned boyfriend - was about to tell him of the traumas he may have experienced over the last six years, six years of his life Bokuto hadn't been a part of. Six years Bokuto wished had never happened. In the end he opted for a pair of beige chinos, a clean white t-shirt, a grey jacket and a tartan scarf which he wrapped around his neck, more for warmth than actual fashion. 

Akaashi’s place was on the other side of town, away from the university area where Bokuto lived. Seeing as it was quite far to walk Bokuto set off an hour before he was expected to be there, factoring in time for getting lost and any possible scenario that could involve him wasting time, like street performers or the like. The soles of his shoes pounded against the pavement with a dull thud, a regular rhythm keeping his mind focussed on the task at hand, ignoring his jittery nervousness which made him want to jump up and down and run as fast as he could. So when he arrived half an hour early Bokuto wasn't all that surprised. He walked up to the door Akaashi had told him was his number, number 5. Bokuto smiled and nervously and tapped his knuckles against the flat, green surface of the door. The door opened slightly and a tiny Akaashi opened the door, his big green eyes glowing.

“Bokuto-san!” The little boy ran at him and hugged his leg, Bokuto looked down, unsure of how to react before crouching down and petting the tiny Akaashi’s head. 

“Hey, Rin-chan.” Bokuto smiled and Rin smiled back before rubbing his little hands together and a tiny blush crept across his cheeks.

“Daddy is just getting ready right now, you can come inside though!” Bokuto smiled and stood up walking into the little flat where Akaashi and his kid lived. 

The flat was filled with noises of home, a radio played quietly over the sound of running water, Rin’s quiet babbling about something or another which Bokuto cared about but didn't have the capacity to listen to. 

“Rin!” The shout came from towards the back of the flat and both heads snapped up, before Rin shouted back a noise of vague comprehension.

“Can you bring me a towel from the laundry cupboard, please!” Bokuto’s heart leapt, Rin got up, and diligently walked to the laundry cupboard, before opening the doors and stretching up to reach a towel, his hands stretched as far as they could go, but he still couldn't reach the towel. Before he knew what he was doing Bokuto was reaching over Rin and getting the towel down from the shelf himself.

“Rin? What are you doing? Can you reach it? Wait I’ll just come and get it.” Akaashi’s voice grew slightly louder with concern for Rin before going calm and stoic again. Bokuto realised the implications of forgetting to announce his arrival too late and he heard the door click open and steam flew into his face. 

“Uh… Hey Akaashi…”

Akaashi’s eyes flew wide, his expression contorted and twisted, his mouth half open, his hand still in his hair from where he’d been pushing it off his face. “Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto held out the towel and closed his eyes, a furious blush creeping over his face and threatening to make his head explode. He’d seen everything, he wasn't about to lie, it was weird and perverted and frankly he was ashamed of himself for even wanting to look. Akaashi was probably blushing too now, he felt the towel being snatched out of his hand but he still refused to look up and open his eyes. He waited until he heard the click of the door to open his eyes, still not being able to bury the image of fully naked Akaashi, which now seemed to be etched onto his eyelids. 

“It’s okay Bokuto-san.” Bokuto looked over to Rin who was sitting patiently on the floor, twirling a piece of his hair around his finger, “Daddy loves you so he doesn't mind you seeing him like that.”

Bokuto’s blush increased to maximum capacity, he felt his eyes widening and his voice was only able to choke out a quiet “Come again?”

“Daddy told me that he loves you, so it’s all okay, he can’t be mad at you.” Rin smiled and patted Bokuto on the back, he felt that perhaps even a six year old was more mature than him, albeit even if he didn't quite understand the implications of what he had just said. Bokuto felt like burying himself in a hole and never coming out, he was positive it was the only way to stop screwing everything up for himself and everyone else. 

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi re-emerged from the room, now fully clothed with a towel around his shoulders to stop his hair dripping on to his clothes. Bokuto found something very endearing in the way Akaashi’s wet hair just flopped over his face and dripped down his neck. “Would you like some coffee or something, while I prepare dinner?”

“Uh… Coffee would be nice, thanks Akaashi.” His blush wasn't fading but it wasn't increasing either, that was a start he guessed.

“Rin, I think you should be getting to bed now, it’s getting late.” Rin stood up and walked over to Akaashi who promptly kissed him on the cheek before saying goodnight and giving him a little push towards his room, Rin swiftly walked over to Bokuto and tapped his shin, Bokuto crouched down and Rin quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Goodnight Bokuto-san. Good night daddy.” Bokuto was frozen in his crouch as he waved the little boy off. Before he heard the click of a door closing and Akaashi let out a sigh before collapsing onto the couch. 

“Go make your own coffee if you really want it.” Akaashi’s limbs spread out over the entirety of the couch and he brushed a hand over his face. Bokuto walked over and sat on the floor, cross legged in front of Akaashi. 

“Keiji.” Bokuto started, looking pleadingly at Akaashi’s face and seeing his eyes light up ever so slightly with the use of his first name. “I want to know everything, I missed you so much dammit.”

“Koutarou…” Akaashi moved slightly before lunging forwards and throwing his arms around Bokuto’s neck, pushing the him backwards until he was sitting on top of him, his thighs around Bokuto’s waist, their noses touching, breathing the same air, “I missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos!  
> As always I'll try to update whenever I can, thanks!  
> :)


End file.
